Standing In My Truth…All Of It

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Bishop Jakes said, “Passion and Pain are the wonder twins to purpose.”

I meditated on this for weeks. I finally awakened in the middle of the night, set up straight in my bed in the dark, and this flowed from my heart.

There is no such thing as passion without any pain. You have to be able to deal with the whole picture and have the courage to continue to fulfill your purpose.
It’s interesting what happens when you’re aiming to be free. And when I say free, I mean being free from clocking in to a 9-5, being free from being confined to the “matrix” of life, aiming to be able to BE YOURSELF in whatever way that is and get paid for it.

In your journey, well let me correct that, in MY journey, I began to get fearful about what people would think of me if they knew what REALLY was going on. I would always expose the good stuff but I’d never expose the REAL stuff about my journey for fear of being judged or scrutinized. I started to sensor myself. And what is so ironic is when you do that in the pursuit of freedom, you become a prison in your own cell.

I’m not going to pick and choose what I’m going to be brave about or fearful about anymore. I’m brave about it ALL and moving forward. I’m done sensoring myself or hiding behind me. My struggles have built me. They made me. Nothing can drive me away from what my purpose is. I’m brave to meet it and face it.

Life isn’t about being predictible. Growth is pain. Pain is growth. They go hand in hand. I’m not afraid to live, to be an individual. I’m no longer concerned about what people think of me only what God thinks of me which in turn reflects on how I treat His people. I’m no longer afraid to say no to situations people try to put me in that I no longer belong in. I’ve moved on from that. I’ve grown. People won’t care afterwhile anyway. Our society has such a short attention span. So let the feathers get ruffled, it will pass.

I’ve faced the pain and emptiness. I either quit or do it right and I’m not a quitter. I am no longer ashamed of the dark parts of my unique journey.

Faith is trusting in the unknown, trusting the process. Faith is following a voice, a message even when it doesn’t make sense.

I’ve learned how to recognize fear from intuition.

Fear varies. It comes and goes. It almost always accompanies anxiety and worry.

But intuition never stops. I believe that it’s God’s voice. It’s very steady and soft. You can’t turn it off. It carries on in your spirit until you take heed to what He is saying to you. It’s almost like the voice on your GPS system. Even if you get off track, it’s going to keep rerouting you until you get to your destination. The only difference is that you can’t turn off God’s voice. It will always be there. Unless you want to be outside of His will and do what YOU want to do. And I know most of my people who are reading this right now are not trying to do that.

I can’t anymore. I can’t go on being afraid to be me. I honor my journey. The things I’ve been through are what made me.

I put my ego aside because my story and my purpose is much bigger than me. It’s not about me.

I’m here to serve in whatever capacity God has planned for me within my creativity. I’m not a quitter. I don’t quit.

It’s levels to this and I’m happy to be elevating.

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