I’ve always been a leader. I am someone who can create something from nothing. I’ve never wanted to be famous but SIGNIFICANT. I want to add value to others lives. I want to help others become more aware of their own power. I want to author a bestselling book about self-truth. Instilling in the minds that you have to become more of what you seek. I want to be a heart healer, an example, a testament to His glory. We are all flawed and far from perfect.
But what I’ve learned is that, you have to be very careful in what you ask for because you might just get it.
When you want to be given that kind of responsibility to others lives, you will definitely be tested on an extreme level.
I say all that to say that the moment you ask God for help, for clarity, to show you who you are, to change you, to make you better, you’ve got to be willing to not just be broken but almost disappear to nothing.
Your whole foundation or what you THOUGHT was a foundation will be destroyed. Your ego will be diminished. The lies you tell yourself will be exposed. You will be forced to see your mess. Things will happen to you that you can’t explain. And even more so your life will be transformed into a message. In order for God to do that He has to break you down like you’ve never been broken before.
Imagine going through that while people are watching. You might have family members who are counting on you. Friends who are looking up to you. And even on the other hand people who are in the shadows waiting for you to fail so they can say, “I knew he/she wouldn’t make it.”
Sounds like a lot of pressure huh?
Well that’s what I used to say.
My perception now of pressure is worrying about what others think of you, worrying about if others will accept you, trying to figure out how you will continue to paint this fantasy picture of how things really ARE NOT.
I was not living in my truth. I was not accepting MYSELF for who I was.
How can I be this healer, this woman who wanted to help others out of their pain and shame when I had not healed myself?! How can I write my dream book and it be the most effective and received authentically if I wasn’t completely authentic to myself?!
There is no way.
Having high self esteem and self confidence is totally different than self love. I was fine in those areas. You couldn’t tell me nothing. But self love says, “I am authentic to the core of my being. I am not ashamed of what I don’t have. I love me just the way God loves me, unconditionally with or without this or that.”
The first step in being true is saying, “I accept myself for all that I am. I put no pressure on myself to be any other way.”
You have to be willing to do the work. That might require you to be secluded and alone. Not lonely but quiet with yourself for while. That’s where I started. Being able to travel the world and be away from everything familiar has aided in my growth. I’ve always been a reader and a writer but I was doing it more than ever. I shed a lot of tears not because I was sad but because I started to be more compassionate with myself and I was able to let go of the belief that I was this horrible person. I started to embrace the fact that my close friends, casual acquaintances, and even exes all played an integral part of the movie of my life that was propelling me toward wholeness. I am so very grateful now for everyone that I’ve encountered in my life up to now.
I started to heal my thoughts, my thoughts became feelings, my feelings became actions.
Pay attention to your thinking and change it in areas that you don’t have peace.
I’m going to close here or I’m going to go on forever. That’s why the book will come lol
But stay tuned because next I’m going to get into our relationships with others.
Many blessings! Sending you good energy, love, and light!
Until Next Time,