I’m in my home town visiting and getting ready for my SECOND overseas tour that I leave for in 12 or so days. Look at God yall!! My SECOND time!! He is so good.
I’m pretty excited and really grateful for another opportunity to see other parts of the world doing what I love to do.
I am also approaching another birthday which is tomorrow and Im so excited. I made it!!
I will be celebrating life and also the rebirth of a better woman, not looking back.
Since I’ve been in my hometown, I have had a lot of downtime to reflect over the past year and also rehearsing music for the tour.
I thank God for real friends because I found myself talking negatively for the past few days which isnt me at all and feeling defeated in other areas of my life. Ive been saying that the enemy won. Are you serious?!? That coming out of my mouth?!??
The enemy NEVER wins!!!
And even when it appears that he has won, hmph..God has a plan in it all. When your intentions were always in the right place, that’s what truly matters. When your heart and soul is in the right place, THAT is what God knows. THAT is the real truth. Sometimes the one who is always encouraging others needs to be encouraged and uplifted too.
In talking to the people who truly love me, through prayer and meditation, I started looking at all the things that has gone on and began praising God. Im still here. I still have my life, my health, my gifts, and my fam & true friends. I have everything I need and everything is as it should be. God continues to carry me and provide for me. He has allowed me to experience things that some people have never experienced in a lifetime. He made me a trailblazer, a leader but always a student forever humbled and willing to learn.
Some things about myself that I need to work on have come to the surface. What’s so funny is the timing of it all surfacing around my birthday, my new year. It’s always hard to have to sit with yourself and fight with that reflection in the mirror. Ive been dealing with the guilt. The biggest part of facing your wrongdoing is forgiving ourselves. We repent and ask for forgiveness. It’s done. We hold on to that guilt and continue to beat ourselves up. You have to stop, dig deep to figure out the root of why, vow to God and yourself that it won’t happen again, and begin to move forward. God has already forgiven me and shown me His grace and mercy. It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge your flaws and to actually put in the work to correct them. Some of us choose to stay “asleep” and still look outside of us. It’s always much easier to point the finger or blame the next person. I’m definitely a work in progress. I’m just trying to be the best version of myself. I’ve been broken in certain ways and I’m rebuilding a better woman, a better human being.
I’m blessed to have a God that loves me enough to put people and experiences in my path that show me myself so I can correct what might be wrong. You say you want to be a better person, well you might have to go through some things and be broken down a few times to get there. Be careful what you ask for.
In all of this going on with my soul, I finally know without a shadow of a doubt where MY home is. I know where my heart is at and hopefully it’s God’s will for me to be there too. California is definitely where my heart is. In previous posts, Ive shared with you all how much that place resonates with every part of my being. I need the sun, the ocean, the mountains, the diversity, the art, the weather, the movement, and the craziness. I need all of that. I’m very excited about getting back and really settling in to my own place. I’m so excited about what is to come.
On this day, the eve before my new year I choose to be better. I choose to accept who is here and who isnt. I send those people who have hurt me love anyway from a distance. I let go of everything that isnt serving a purpose in my life. I stand in knowing that hard work wins. I stand in my TRUTH wholeheartedly and whoever cant accept it isnt meant to be in my circle anyway. I choose to let people be who they are and I govern myself accordingly. I choose to allow.
Last but not least, I am a Goddess. A Goddess never chases love, she attracts it. It radiates from within. I have everything I need in myself.
Evolution. Growth. Love.
Happy Birthday To A New Woman!!