One of those days that I feel like I’m going to burst..in a good way though. There is so much contrast going on in my life from one extreme to the other extreme. I’m just in the middle and riding the wave. I almost feel numb. It’s hard to explain. So much is going on that I don’t know HOW to feel but present.
There we go. I just feel PRESENT. I’m here and just going with the flow. I remember a time when I used to question myself and have doubts. I’m at a place now where I don’t have time to doubt or question. I just have to DO. Pure FAITH. I’m so joyous and so happy yet very uncertain and overwhelmed. I just want to go to the beach, sip on something, sit on a blanket, reflect, and let some tears flow into that huge body of water. Happy tears and “I don’t know” tears lol
It’s kind of a scary feeling when you feel so unafraid, so unfearful because recently each day has brought on a different challenge or triumph and I almost EXPECT to feel it that I don’t feel it. These days, I almost don’t have time to really trip off of what I just did or what just happened until a day or two later. Lately, I’ve been so delayed on my reactions to things. I’ve said to myself, “Damn! How did I do that?! What just happened?!” Cause I’ve begun to get out of my feelings and just ACT, DO, WORK, PRODUCE RESULTS, MAKE IT HAPPEN BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY without a lot of resources! That has been my mentality. Get out here and get it done. Make my bread and keep knocking things out of the park!!
I’m so uncomfortable, extremely uncomfortable which is a good thing. All that means to me is that I’m continuing to grow and go to new levels.
Each day is something different, exciting, unexpected, and new. I’ve knocked every goal out of the park and have a whole list of more goals to accomplish. I never know how I’m going to do it, how I’m going to pull it off, but amazingly I do it!! LMAO!! It’s hilarious yall cause as I’m knocking this stuff out of the park I’m discovering how strong I am. As much adversity I’ve had to deal with I STILL get it done.
I say all this to say, there is no excuse to making your dreams a reality. If I can do it, anyone can do it. I’ve only had GOD. I’m so serious. God has set people in my path that have the heart to help if they can but I don’t depend on that either. I can only depend on God and myself. That’s it. People are people. Humans are very fickle and change their minds all the time. DO NOT depend on another human being for ANYTHING.
You can do it! It is by FACING our fears that we grow. Growth, by definition, means we are constantly expanding beyond our comfort zone. And when we expand beyond our comfort zone – the natural experience is FEAR!
Mastin Kipp from The Daily Love says, “If we are doing the work on ourselves to be better, we are inviting fear to come – because we are stepping outside our comfort zone! We are inviting our emotions to rise, because we are clearing away all the things that prevent us from feeling them. This is the path of the spiritual warrior – to be courageous enough to FEEL fear and keep going! To not cut themselves off from feeling however they feel – and know that there is nothing wrong with them for feeling a down emotion! This is what it means to be a human being! It’s a RIDE, man! If all you were was some annoying positive robot – life would suck. Like my mom has said, “When you numb your pain, you numb your joy” – being human, being open, being ALIVE means being ready to experience it all.”
And I am truly experiencing it ALL..in every sense of the word!!