Me and my best homegirls always have these awesome deep discussions. One of them sent me a video on this subject and it was so on point I felt it was blog worthy lol. I had to share what conclusions I came to on this. It all makes so much sense. This is based off of my own opinion and in no way is a generalization because there are exceptions to the rule in every case. Not every woman is even on a healthy spiritual plane yet and not every man isn’t. I’m talking about when you know you can’t even have a deep intellectual discussion with someone because they just don’t get it no matter what you say. And it’s not even their fault. They just aren’t there spiritually yet.
And I don’t know everything. Just my thoughts. That’s what a blog is for, right?! Ok. Now since that is out the way…
So let me start off by defining what I mean when I say spiritually/emotionally on your level.
Being more spiritually aware or awake means knowing the difference between the human body experience and the spiritual one.
The human body wants to be comfortable. It wants it’s needs met. It wants to survive. It wants to reproduce. It wants to do everything the easy way.
The SOUL/SPIRIT however is here on a mission. The mission is to learn, to expand, and to grow. We have peace within us when we can balance the soul with the body. When we can move out of the way and let the soul takeover and live through the body.
We let spirit and soul live. We don’t force the sensed world onto our soul.
So when you are more spiritually/emotionally advanced than the man you’re in love with, he usually isn’t with you because he loves YOU. He just loves the fact that his soul gets to grow as a result of being with you. What’s interesting in these cases is that most of the time the man is unaware of why he loves you. He can’t pinpoint what it truly is.
Do you want to wait for this person to reach your level? And when they have reached your level, where are you going to be at that time? If it takes him years, what are you doing in between?
Are you stunting your own growth? Yes.
When you are in love with a man, you will do just about anything. You will continue to have that hope that one day he will see how much you love him, how much you’ve sacrificed.
You have to admit that women are nurturers. We were made that way. We give birth. The line between nurturing and mothering is thin. When we mother them, we smother them.
The moment he feels like he has found his growth through you and he doesn’t need your wisdom anymore and he feels he is ok or you “nursed” him to carry on..he is going to move on to someone else.
Let him grow on his own. You can’t save him. You have to remove yourself from that situation.
This might be a little harsh to say but DO NOT prostitute yourself for a man so he can experience his growth unless you are his professional therapist.
No free intimacy(sex), no free advice or counseling in the hopes he is really going to dedicate his life to you out of gratefulness or faithfulness.
As a sister or strictly a homegirl with no expectations..YES.
But do not have the expectation on a man that he owes you anything for it. Expecting a man to love you because of what you do for him is like spiritual blackmail. Don’t go there.
He isn’t going to give you the I DO unless he really truly loves you. That’s with anybody.
When a man truly loves you, he will come for you. Nothing will stop him from being with you. He will move half way across the planet to be with you. He will move mountains if he could.
So many women say, “But I love him so much. Why isn’t he loving me like I love him? Why can’t he see? I know he loves me.”
Well NO! He loves what you DO for him. He loves the expansion of his soul and wisdom that you’re giving him…the growth.
Save yourself all the heartache. Go with someone who is on your level already or roundabout. It’s ok when you shrink and the other person is strong but then the other person catches up and it’s a constant being close to one another in the shifts. That’s ok. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Because in this, what really brings you both together and keeps you together is love, THAT IS THE GLUE.
NOT because his soul needs what you have. That is called a spiritual/emotional codependent relationship..not good.
Reclaim your power. Be with the guy who really wants to be with you because he is equal to you on all levels.
So the next question that is raised is, HOW DO YOU CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO IS ON THE SAME SPIRITUAL/EMOTIONAL LEVEL OR VERY CLOSE AS YOU ARE? Actually you don’t. You concentrate on you and fulfilling yourself. Eventually you will attract your equal, he will find you, and then you make the choice. The woman is actually the chooser. Stop holding on to a wack guy because you feel like there is a shortage of men or the good guys are not available or he is the only one in the world.
There will always be plenty of men..FOREVER TO NO END lol Don’t settle.
I will expand on this more in PART 2 coming soon..*cheese* Gotta run yall but come back 🙂