A Facebook friend of mine posted a status about self-reflection the other day. He talked about how facing yourself and taking a look in the mirror can be a really tough thing to do. I immediately was like, “YES!!”. I personally have dealt with this. It’s hard doing the work on yourself and trying to figure out what you need to change about yourself. At this point in my life, I want my outer world to reflect what is going on inside of me. I want to continue to become a better person and get in the habit of doing a self-check before I immediately look to the outside for answers. There are times when I’ve questioned a friendship or relationship, but I’ve had to ask myself, “Well Katrina are you being a good friend?” Even if I have a moment where I start complaining about things a lot, I have begun to stop, look inward, and then see if that’s why my world on the outside is looking a hotmess at that particular moment in time lol.
Just like people say, the way you keep your house and car are direct reflections of how you really feel or where your priorities are. Seems like the first thing we do when things go wrong or someone has hurt us is point the finger. We automatically look outside of ourselves and proceed with the blame game. We often times immediately play the victim and never take into account how we contributed to the issue. There are exceptions to the rule. There have been sometimes when things just seem to happen. It could be that someone actually did wrong you that you had nothing to do with or life just might not be going right for you at the time. But even in that, your perception can change your whole outlook.
Relationships of any kind are our biggest tool to knowing what is really going on inside of us. Our relationships, especially the intimate ones, are nothing but reflections of who we are. You literally attract who you are. What you might not like in someone else might be the VERY thing that you do yourself. Interesting, huh?! It’s a Universal Law. It just is.
In dating, we always talk about what we want and need. There are always people who are willing to love us and be with us. But the type of person you really want at the time seems to not be available. It’s either one or two things, they are right in front of you but because you’re not where they are consciously..you’re still searching for something else. Or you have a distorted perception of yourself and in your mind you’re attracting the wrong people.
The reality and hard part is that these are the people who are reflecting where you’re currently at. Makes sense?
Carl Stevens, Jr. couldn’t have said it better,
If you don’t like who’s stepping to you it means that you’re not who you think you are. You don’t match your vision of yourself. It’s still a dream, a desire to be something or someone that you’re not. So no need to complain about no women or men being available. Instead, complain about the fact you haven’t done the work to put yourself in the place to attract the type of person you really desire or see it when it does come around.
Complain about the fact that you haven’t gone into the gym yet. Complain about the fact that you don’t know how to love unselfishly. Complain about the fact that you still have a bad attitude. Complain about the fact that your self esteem is all jacked up. Complain about the fact that you prefer to live in a victim mentality and deny your innate power. Complain about the fact that all you do is complain about what you don’t have instead of getting off of your ass and fixing your life. Complain about the fact that all you do is gossip and talk about other people all day long and some how find yourself alone even amongst ‘friends’.
Only complimentary energies attract each other so these folks you’re attracting match you in some way, so instead of dissing them, take a step back and figure out what the matching element is. If if you’re not attracting anyone to you, well, that’s a match too.
We all want to be with a special person, but we’re not even in a relationship with ourselves. We want someone out there to give us something, to love us in a certain way, to accept us unconditionally, but we’re not giving that to ourselves.
It has to start with YOU. This is the foundation. This is the key.
As you heal and transform what no longer serves you, you access your innate wholeness. From there, not only will you be able to feel differently within yourself, you will be attracted and attracting differently based on who you have become. No longer seeking to get love from the outside, but living in touch with the love that you are inside.
This is the power you have.
So remember this:
1-Take responsibility for your inner and outer experiences.
2- Learn your lessons from life.
3- Forgive yourself and the others involved.
4- Let go and trust God.
5- Envision your inspired future letting that pull you forward.
Some insight given from Kute Blackson